“Oh, you must have got that part of the matzah,” I tell my wife – or maybe she tells me. We laugh. It’s not even Pesach (or anywhere near), and there isn’t even any matzah in the house.
What’s going on?
You know how when you break the middle, Afikomen matzah at the Seder? How it virtually never breaks into two smooth and perfectly identical halves?
Usually it’s more like a jagged, craggy break. One piece jutting in where the other protrudes and vice versa.
A husband and wife are one soul divided between two identities. But that split isn’t usually smooth and even either.
He may have a lot of one trait – while she has hardly any. Another trait may play out just the opposite.
She’s outgoing, he’s introverted. He’s a spendthrift, she’s a tightwad. Couples who are so different might come to ask themselves: how did I ever end up with someone so not like me?
That’s because he/she is not like, or not not like me. He/she is me. Just the other half of me. The other half of the cosmic Afikomen split. The jagged, cragged, division of the perfect circular whole.
‘But some couples are more similar to each other’, you may claim. Not a problem. Their matzah-soul might have gotten one of those rare smooth, nearly identical breaks.
But if your marriage is not like that (and I’d venture most aren’t), don’t fret. Get to know and revel in your one-of-a-kind Afikomen split. Get to know who got what ‘part of the matzah’. (Check this theory out – many couples have found the pattern to be true and harmonizing.) And most of all…
Learn to compliment your complement.