Life insurance and loshon hora
Have you ever wondered why at the end of Shemonah Esrei we first ask Hashem, “Guard my tongue from evil… and then request from Him, ‘Open my heart to Your Torah…’”?
Rav Yisrael Meir HaKohein Kagan or better known as the Chofeitz Chayim says,
“These two requests flow naturally from one another. One’s Torah maintains its value only when one guards his tongue; otherwise, the Torah is considered worthless. We therefore first pray that we may merit to speak properly and only then do we ask Hashem for the merit to study His holy Torah.”
Why? Because one who speaks loshon hora or rechilus loses the little Torah one has acquired. In addition, he writes that one’s prayers are not accepted above if he speaks lashon hara (slander). As Rebbe Shimon bar Yochai says, “If one has transgressed lashon hora his prayer does not go up in front of G-d because there rests on it a spirit of defilement.”
- Doesn’t the Gemara say that Torah study protects one from punishment and saves him from sinning?
Yes, however, there is one exception to this Gemara:
“…Someone whose mouth is always open (talking) and does not take care to guard what comes out of his mouth – even if he learns all six orders of Mishnah and all of Shas several times over, when he arrives On High he will not find even one single Gemara that will protect him because each one, each page of his Torah learning has dragging behind it a spirit a repulsive force of impurity and defilement that hangs over it…”
The Chofeitz Chayim continues:
“It never ceases to amaze me how people are looking for mystical charms and blessings from our great sages for success and livelihood. But what possible value is there in these amulets and blessings if, G-d forbid, this person routinely violates the sin of loshon hora and the sin of rechilus? The Torah specifically promises this person that he will be cursed: ‘Cursed (‘arur’) is the person, who secretly hits his fellow Jew,’ where Rashi explains this as pertaining to loshon hora.
If people would listen to me, I would advise them even further: They should be especially careful to avoid this sin and not to in any way actively cause any ‘bad’ to their fellow Jew, especially in the realm of theft or violence or oppression and deception and other similarly ‘bad’ actions (most certainly these reasons are a major catalyst towards the loss of a person’s wealth, to the point where he is left with nothing… Nevertheless, if my advice is followed then obviously, this person’s assets will be blessed far more than using any mystical amulets. Everyone knows that the curses in the Torah are always preceded by Hashem’s blessings: ‘blessed is whoever does not hit his fellow Jew – and all of Israel answered Amen to this.’ Most assuredly this blessing will come true and will endure.
…There is yet another great and holy benefit that evolves from disciplining one’s language. That great benefit is peace! If one is very careful about one’s speech he will remove from himself the jealousy of others. People will like him and will confide secrets to him. People will not gossip about this person because they hold this person in high esteem. It is said in the name of the Ari z”l that measure for measure, as you are discreet about other people, they will be discreet about you…”
- Why is Torah study equal to all the mitzvos and speaking loshon hora equal to all sins combined?
The Chofeitz Chayim explains:
“Other mitzvos involve limbs such as the hands or feet. Deeds accomplished with the more physical parts of the body do not have the same spiritual impact as those executed with one’s thought and speech, which is more spiritual in nature. When G-d created Adam, the Torah says that ‘He blew into his nostrils a spirit of life and the man became a living soul.’ Onkelos translates the phrase ‘living soul’ as ‘speaking soul.’ Thus, speech represents the spiritual aspect of a human being. Since they both entail speech, Torah study is the ultimate mitzvah, while loshon hora is the ultimate sin.”
The Gemara states that a person is incidentally punished for loshon hora sin in this world, but the worst part of his punishment will be reserved for him in the World to Come. Our Creator gives us beneficial advice, “If it is your desire to be protected from purgatory then stay away from loshon hora and you will merit reward both in this world and in the World to Come.”
Picture the following scenario:
Reuven needs to buy something and he has no cash or credit card on him. Shimon, his friend, lends him his credit card. Reuven buys what he needs. Then he thinks to himself, “I’m sure he won’t mind if I buy a few more things.” Reuven then decides to fulfill what it dictum of “One mitzvah leads to another mitzvah.” Basically, he buys one thing after the other, until Shimon’s credit card is maxed out. Reuven comes to Shimon and says to him, “I’m now in debt. Can you pay it off?” …
When we speak loshon hora about someone else, we take his aveiros (transgressions) upon ourselves and he takes our mitzvos! Bear in mind, one who speaks loshon hora alone transgresses 31 Torah prohibitions and gets 3 curses. Now, he also acquires the other person’s sins. Any thinking and rational person should ask himself, “Is that really a good bargain?!”
- What is the global effect of one person speaking loshon hora?
The Chofeitz Chayim says,
“When a Jew speaks loshon hora against his fellow Jew and brings up complaints against him, He thereby brings about accusations in Heaven against the Jewish people and he empowers the Accuser to indict the Jewish people. This sin brings plague, sword and murder to the world. Woe to those who awaken this evil force, who do not guard their tongues and pay no heed to this! They do not realize that the ways of Heaven reflect the ways of the world, both for good and bad. Through evil talk, the Great Serpent (Satan) is aroused to voice accusation against the world.”
For this reason, the Vilna Gaon comments as follows:
Until the day he dies, each day man must impose restrictions, to discipline himself… through restraining his mouth and his desires; that is true teshuvah! All the benefits of Olam Haba evolve from a lifetime of self-discipline. Shlomo HaMelech alluded to this in Mishlei, ‘A mitzvah is a candle (a weak candle) and Torah is illumination (a much brighter light) … but the pathway for life is self-imposed discipline.’ This is greater than all of the fasting and lashes in the whole world combined.
However, the person who consciously closes his mouth, who refrains from loshon hora, will earn in Olam Haba the radiance that is stored away for those people who are tzaddikim… For every moment man keeps his mouth closed, he earns the merit of receiving a holy radiance whose benefit is far beyond the comprehension of any angel or being. Therefore, Dovid HaMelech warns us, that whoever wants an everlasting life in the World to Come and wants to see good in this world should guard his tongue from speaking evil.
Practically speaking, the prohibition of loshon hora applies whether one disparages the other person by speaking about him or by writing about him. Additionally, there is no difference whether one speaks the loshon hora explicitly or merely hints it. It is considered loshon hora regardless of how the information is conveyed.
The Torah prohibits loshon hora that is spoken even light-heartedly or as a joke. Since the speaker’s words are, in fact, derogatory, this type of speech is forbidden even though it does not stem from hatred and the speaker has no intention to disparage the other person. Moreover, the prohibition of loshon hora can apply even if the speaker does not specify whom he is speaking about. It is forbidden to speak loshon hora about any Jew to one’s parents, brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts, cousins, a spouse or in-laws.”
An American self-help author once said,
The Noam Elimelech identifies loshon hora as one of the mitzvos which people do not take seriously, causally trampling with their heels. Likewise, the Chofeitz Chayim says, “People have become used to saying whatever happens to come out of their mouth, without first considering that perhaps what they say is considered rechilus or loshon hora.”
Part of being human is that we make mistakes. As Shlomo HaMelech states,
“There is no man so completely righteous on earth that he always does good and never sins.” Hence, “If your yeitzer hara vanquished you today and you used language that was forbidden. Tomorrow, stand up again, strengthen yourself and again do battle against the yeitzer hara and be triumphant over him. Even if G-d forbid, the yeitzer hara should again battle you and win, still, you must get back up and strengthen yourself to battle against him again and most certainly you will eventually be victorious. Anyone who seeks to sanctify himself will receive assistance from HaKadosh Baruch Hu to overcome his yeitzer hara and defeat him because Heaven will always help those who try to improve themselves.
- What’s the solution?
In the end of the preface to Seifer Chofeitz Chayim, he states:
“If you toil very much in the Torah’s words, HaKadosh Baruch Hu will remove the yeitzer hara from you.” I thought to myself that perhaps if people study this seifer and seriously consider its contents – which have been compiled from all of the works of the Rishonim that deal with this subject – then the yeitzer hara will not as much power with regard to this sin. If one takes a small step toward refraining from this sin, then eventually he will able to refrain from it completely, for this sin is one that is governed to a large extent by habit. Indeed, Chazal say that one who seeks to improve himself is granted Heavenly assistance…
With Hashem’s help, by taking the Chofeitz Chayim’s advice to guard our tongue; may we merit soon that our mouth will be filled with laughter and our tongue with glad song, upon Him bringing us back to Tzion!
Dedicated in memory of Dovid Tzvi ben Yosef Yochanan, Kayla Rus bas Bunim Tuvia, Chana Tziporah bas HaRav Nochum Yehuda HaKohein, Dovid ben Uri HaLevi, Sarah bas Henoch Avraham, Altah Soshah Devorah bas Aryeh Leibush, Mashah Tzivyah bas R’ Shlomo Zalman, Shmuel Dovid HaLevi ben R’ Yosef Moshe HaLevi, Rafael Chaim Yitzchak Yaakov ben Binyamin Yehudah, Berinah Z’latah bas Reuven Yitzchak, Yosef ben Moshe HaLevi and as a merit for a complete recovery of Chayah Malka bas Bas-Sheva, Shmuel ben Channah Menuchah, Shlomo Avraham Moshe ben Rivkah Shaindel, Beilah Chayah Rechamah bas Eidel, Miriam Liba bas Devorah, Menachem ben Rivka, Rivka bas Esther Rochel.
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 Shemiras HaLoshon volume 2, chapter 1, second Hagahah, “וְזֶהוּ שֶׁאָנוּ אומְרִים בְּסוף תְּפִלָּתֵנוּ”.
 Disparagingly of another person.
 Informing another person of the negative things that someone said about him or did to him, causing… ill feelings between the listener and the person spoken about or harm to the person spoken about.
 see Shemiras HaLoshon volume 1, Sha’ar HaZechirah, chapter 7, “בֹּא וּרְאֵה עוֹד כַּמָּה גָּדוֹל עֹנֶשׁ הֶעָוֹן הַמַּר הַזֶּה”.
 Devarim 27:24.
 see Shevuos 36a.
 Sotah 32a.
 Regarding peace, see Mishlei 17:1; Shoftim 6:24; Avos 1:18; Uktzin 3:12; Berachos 8a; Gittin 59b; Artscroll Bava Metzia 59a, note 30; Bamidbar Rabbah 11:7; Tanchuma, Tzav #7; Shoftim #18; Sifra, Bechukosai 1:8 “שמא תאמרו”; Zohar 3:10b; Avos D’Rebbi Nosson 28:3 and Rashi to Vayikra 26:6 “ונתתי שלום”.
 Shemiras HaLoshon volume 1, Sha’ar HaZechirah, chapter 11 “עוֹד יֵשׁ מַעֲלָה גְּדוֹלָה וּקְדוֹשָׁה הַמִּסְתַּעֶפֶת מִשְּׁמִירַת הַלָּשׁוֹן”.
 Bereishis 2:7.
 see Shemiras HaLoshon volume 1, Sha’ar HaZechirah, chapter 7, “ר’ חִיָּא אָמַר: כָּל מַאן דְאַפִּיק לִישָׁנָא בִּישָׁא”.
 Shemiras HaLoshon volume 1, Sha’ar HaZechirah, chapter 3 “עוֹד נוּכַל לוֹמַר”.
 see Shemiras HaLoshon volume 1, Sha’ar HaZechirah, chapter 11 “גַּם הוּא נִצּוֹל עַל יְדֵי זֶה מִגֵּיהִנֹּם”; Zachor L’Miryam, chapter 14, “איתא באגדת חז”ל” and Mishlei 21:23).
 Avos 4:2.
 see Shemiras HaLoshon volume 1, Sha’ar HaZechirah, chapter 3, “וְהַגָּאוֹן ר’ רְפָאֵל” and Rabbeinu Bachayei, Chovos HaLevavos, Sha’ar HaKniah, chapter 7 “ענינו והשלישי כשיתפרסם”. See The Power of Speech by Yehuda Cahn, pages 31-38, for an explanation.
 In his Hakdamah “וְנִרְאֶה פָּשׁוּט” and in Shemiras HaLoshon volume 1, Sha’ar HaZechirah, chapter 2 “וְאִם מְדַבֵּר לָשׁוֹן הָרָע עַל חֲבֵרוֹ וּמְעוֹרֵר מְדָנִים עָלָיו” citing Zohar in Parshas Pekudei 264a “תְּחוֹת אִלֵּין, אִית רוּחָא חֲדָא”.
 However, sins committed against one’s fellow man are not atoned for on Yom Kippur unless he asks his fellow for forgiveness first (Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 131:4. See also Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chayim 606:1 and Yuma 87a-b).
 see Shemiras HaLoshon volume 1, Sha’ar HaZechirah, chapter 2 “וְהִנֵּה כַּאֲשֶׁר נִתְבּוֹנֵן רַק מְעַט בָּעִנְיָן הַנּוֹרָא הַזֶּה” quoting the Zohar in Shelach 160b “דְּלִישָׁנָא בִּישָׁא” [watch Feathers]. For an explanation of this Zohar, see The Power of Speech by Yehudah Cahn, pages 34-35. Regarding doing teshuva for loshon hora, see Seifer Chofeitz Chayim, Hilchos Issurei Loshon Hara 4:12 and for rechilus, see Hilchos Issurei Rechilus 4:3.
 Elsewhere, the Vilna Gaon says, “The main way to merit Olam Haba is through guarding one’s mouth. This is more important than any Torah or good deeds he has” (Iggeres HaGra “אבל העיקר לזכות”, Even Shlomo 7:1 “ע”י שמירת הפה משתמר הנפש” and Even Sheleimah). Similarly, the Chidah says, “Whoever wants to get Olam Haba cheaply, guard your tongue from evil…” (see Maris HaAyin by Chaim Yosef Dovid Azulai, Avodah Zarah 19b “מכריז”).
 Shemiras HaLoshon volume 1, Sha’ar HaTevunah, chapter 2 “גַּם דִּקְדְּקוּ חֲזַ”ל בִּלְשׁוֹן קָדְשָׁם” quoting the Vilna Gaon.
 I.e. he does not respond at all to a provocation (see Tomer Devorah by Rabbi Moshe Cordovero, chapter 2 “הַשְׁלִישִׁית – שֶׁיַּחְשֹׁב עַל עֲוֹנֹתָיו תָּמִיד וְיִרְצֶה בְּטָהֳרָה וְתוֹכַחַת וְיִסּוּרִים” and Rosh Hashanah 17a).
 Shemiras HaLoshon volume 1, Sha’ar HaZechirah, chapter 11 “גַּם עֲבוּר כָּל עֵת שֶׁשּׁוֹמֵר אֶת עַצְמוֹ”.
 i.e. Facial expressions, body language, or any other means of insulting or belittling someone.
 It’s also forbidden to speak loshon hora about a simple unlearned person and even worse it it’s spoken about a Torah scholar (Hilchos Loshon Hora, Mekor Chayim 4).
 The Novi says, “Hashem recounts to a person the words he spoke” (Amos 4:13). In addition, see Yeshayahu 51:16; Zohar, Parshas Metzorah, page 55a “וְתָּא חֲזֵי, כְּתִיב”; Parshas Tzav, page 31b “דְּהָא לֵית לָךָ טַב וּבִישׁ”; see Derech Pekudechah by Tzvi Elimelech Shapira, Mitzvos Lo Sa’aseh 34 (3) “שקבלנו מרבותינו בפסוק” and Sefer Darkei Tzedek, #54 “לא ירבה דיבורים שלא לצורך”).
 Koheles 7:20.
 Chidah says, “The only way a person will be saved from his yeitzer hara is through learning halacha” [Pesach Einayim volume 1, Eruvin, chapter 6, daf 64a (4) “ויבא” and Chovas HaShemirah by Yisrael Meir HaKohein, chapter 3 “ודע עוד”].
 see Tehillim 126:2.