“Anything! Anything!!” Yumi banged on the table.
Dovy rushed to right the wine bottle about topple from the concussive force. “The rocket has taken off,” he said to Jesse with a smile.
“He can do absolutely anything!!” bellowed Yumi as he pushed his powder-blue shtreimel further back on his forehead and downed another shot of bourbon.
“Yep,” Jesse nodded. “He’s over the top. Nothing to do now but watch the show.”
“Today, of all days, you just have to ask and the King will answer. V’nahpachu. He can turn the whole world upside-down!”
“Just don’t turn that bottle upside-down, okay?” Dovy jeered.
The Purim Rebbe rolled his eyes back in their sockets and shot his hands skyward. “Anything! We just have to ask! He can sweep all the shmutz from the face of the Earth. He can close down every makom tumah and moshav leitizim in Manhattan!”
“Every pritzusdikke nightclub, every feshtunkeneh bar, every cynical, mocking play!”
“‘Rebbe’, I think you’re overreaching a little bit,” Dovy chuckled.
“And not just New York, but Hollywood, Las Vegas, Paris….”
“How about Tel Aviv? Now that would be a trick,” Roni offered.
“Yes, avadai, especially Tel Aviv, where it hurts Him and the world so much more!”
“If God closes down all the bars, where are you gonna get your next bottle?” Jesse heckled.
Yumi poured and downed another shot. “And He can do much, much more! Anything! He can close the atheistic universties. Where the students, and the taxpayers, dump millions of dollars so kids can be ‘educated’ that they come from monkeys, and get put in cages together so they can act like them.”
“Good line, Rebbe. But these ‘monkeys’ don’t need college dorms to ‘monkey around.”
Yumi glared. “You think that’s too much for Him? He can even make them afraid to just get near each other!”
Dovy elbowed Jesse. “Speaking of which, I think we should keep a safe distance from our honored host. What goes up, must come down…and vice versa.” Giggles. “Rebbe, you’re dreaming,” he called out. “The world is what it is.”
“Anything! On Purim, just ask! He can shecht the Eigel Hazahav, the Golden Calf of materialism. He can close down the indulgent malls and the decadent hotels and cruises. He can make it that Yiddishe mammes stay home from their fancy jobs and spend time at home with their kinder, where they belong.”
“Um, I don’t know if my wife will go for that one, Rebbe. Besides, the ‘kinder’ are happily in their daycare centers.”
“He can sweep them home on eagles’ wings home those heartless institutions, too! He can purify the world! Overnight! On Purim, all we have to do is ask…” Yumi swayed, his eyes flickered and his head hit the table over his folded arms.
“Well, the rocket has finally touched down,” laughed Dovy.
“And this year thankfully without an explosion, heh, heh.”
“The best part is I’ve got it all on video. Yumi’s gonna crack up when he hears the crazy things he said.”
“Yeah, he’s a good guy, but a dreamer. Who else but him could even imagine such a drunken dream?”